Evil Cat Overlords: The 2020 Updated Business Strategy

Cat Hair in the Covid Masks Will be the Death of All Humanity!!!!

Bwahahahaha ha ha....meow

 

 

My Beatiful Jewelry Box of Katas

If there was ever a time made for Kata, it is 2020.

I was flailing through seiuchin last night, reminding my feet and elbows their place in the universe and it reminded me of how I learn a kata.

I learn a kata like an intricate necklace, each cluster of jeweled settings of sequences attached by links into a beautiful and functional loop, with Yoi / Yame as the clasp that holds together the beginning and the end.

The weakest part, for me, has always been the transition links. The link would break and then I couldn't get to the next setting of moves, then I couldn't practice it and all the move jewels would fall out of the settings, I would lose them and all I'd be left with was the small dangly bit of chain stuck to

the Yoi clasp. And I just couldn't wear that so it would be discarded too. 

So. I concentrate on learning the transitions first. I stumble over the settings, I don't worry to much about the height of the kick or the position of my elbow, then I solder those transition links in, then paint them with super glue and flex seal. That one turn of the foot that sets up the next sequence. The shift of the weight. The turn of the head. All the way till I reach Yame and complete the loop.

Then I practice the kata focusing ONLY on the transitions. It is the ugliest thing you have ever seen. It has driven every Karate instructor I've learned under to distraction. I'd brush off or half ass the beautiful jewels of the kata to carefully put myself into position for a single functional move over and over. It probably looked like I was deliberately defacing the kata. Like trying to listen to someone who is putting emphasis on random and nonsensical syllables as they sing a favorite song, shockingly offkey.

Then I go back and carefully set each stone, straighten each bent setting and polish the piece by running it over and over and over. Because I know it. Because it runs as an unbroken, logical chain. I know exactly where I am in the piece. I know where I'm going. I know where I have been. I can infer the next move because I know where my feet need to be. It isn't something that I need to clutch and hang onto, it is something beautiful that I wear without effort. A beautiful necklace of kata.

It has been over a year since I really worked on seiuchin. But it was still there. Link by link.

Mask for the Generously Bearded Gentleman (or Lady)

My cousin asked for a face mask that would accommodate his rather impressive beard. I had never considered the problem that would arise from having a mass of hair on ones chin. What would be its volume? How easy would it be to stuff places? Does it require its own conditioner? Are drinking fountains problematic?

I didn't see any masks for the bearded individual that I liked. Most were just 'bigger' or open at the bottom (which doesn't seem effective for the mask actually functioning).

I spent some time trying to imagine hair stuck to my face and this is the design I came up with:

Socially Distant BJJ

First Stage of Accepting the Pandemic....

Today I feel like I really accepted the pandemic: I cleaned out my gym bag.

So much of my pre-Covid19 time was spent having  the right combination of gear organized for the correct activity, ready to grab and go out the door. So much of my Covid19 time is NOT that. 

It felt like acceptance to put the tiny shampoos and conditioners in my shower and my yoga mat towels in the linen closet.

Pandemic Simulator: Hobbies

Step 1: Write all your many varied hobbies and interests on slips of paper and put into hat

Step 2: Randomly pull out three slips of paper

Step 3: These are your only hobbies, the others are dead to you

"Looks like my hobbies are now 'muffin baking' …. 'sewing' and …. 'catering to my cat's every whim'. Dang it! I wanted 'angry pajama yoga', 'hitting people with sticks' and 'going to the movie theater'! How did the cat one even get IN here!"

Zoom Dilemma

You should clean your living room before the Zoom call! It will be good to get up off the couch!

Orrrrr..... I've got a better plan...... We both know you hate cleaning.... sooooo