Pain Pics: Bruised Knees

 Pain turns on the all caps when teaching me stuff I already knew.

I was in a guy's guard, hopped a sweep and instead of landing on my feet, like every drill ever has tried to pound into my head, I drove both knees into the mat. Hard. - I did pass the sweep, though, so there's that.

Stuff I Learned:

• Never land on my knees. 
• I can ice my knees discreetly in public if I put an ice pack in the bottom of my purse
• I need 2 knee ice packs because I can't choose a "favorite" knee. I like them both.
• Take time off when injured. The bruising was covering up a tightness (?) behind my knee cap that I would have hurt if I had worked through the bruise pain.
• Ask. Even when I am pretty sure I know all the answers. *

*It was a Q/A lesson at Combat Base (my online BJJ instruction) a day or so after and I was told I needed to come up with a question. Since I couldn't think of a better one, I asked to see a demo of jumping over a sweep, but right. I got that ... and was asked if there was a reason I wasn't wearing knee pads. Yeah, because it never occurred to me, everyone I've seen wears them because they have a knee problem, not to prevent one. The people in my club have this vast plethora of knowledge and are willing to share it with me, if I just don't assume I know everything. Or I could just hurt myself more and learn the hard way. 

The Care and Feeding of Murder Dolls

 (Stuffing a Grappling Dummy)

I bought a real grappling dummy to keep my other murder doll company and to provide weighted resistance in passing and side control during online training (Wa-hoo for my Combat Base membership!). I decided to stuff it with a 50 lbs. of whole corn and various household object to give it the most human feeling reactions. An empty murder doll is hungry murder doll.

Problem: If I just poured the corn straight into the dummy, it would pool in the freakishly long legs leaving my fighting a pair of 50 lb sentient pants instead of a humanoid susceptible to chokes, arm bars and getting punched in the face. Sentient pants may very well be a no win situation.

Solution: Fill a series of 'bean' bags with corn in the feet, hands, arms, articulated legs, etc., alternate with pool noodles in areas that need volume without weight, and a bit of polyfill keep the pieces from being lumpy!

But..... to make it REALLY realistic to fight..... I made the body corn bags in the shapes of human organs. For realism.

Stuffed viscera is absolutely a thing! I didn't even add weird faces to organs! (maybe next time)

The lungs are filled with pollyfill instead of corn so that I can feel the chest compress in side control!

I also gave it some tattoos to make it tough! So tough! Nothing says "I'm a hot shot BBJ murder doll" more than a rainbow poop emoji tattoo on your posterior or a black belt club tramp stamp.

Someday it may even win a match. It has a lot of heart. I know because I stuffed one in its chest cavity myself.

Stuffing a Grappling Dummy with 'Murica

 

I had an epiphany that the cheapest thing to stuff my new weighted dummy with is also the most 'Murican: Corn

Evil Cat Overlords: The 2020 Updated Business Strategy

Cat Hair in the Covid Masks Will be the Death of All Humanity!!!!

Bwahahahaha ha ha....meow

 

 

My Beatiful Jewelry Box of Katas

If there was ever a time made for Kata, it is 2020.

I was flailing through seiuchin last night, reminding my feet and elbows their place in the universe and it reminded me of how I learn a kata.

I learn a kata like an intricate necklace, each cluster of jeweled settings of sequences attached by links into a beautiful and functional loop, with Yoi / Yame as the clasp that holds together the beginning and the end.

The weakest part, for me, has always been the transition links. The link would break and then I couldn't get to the next setting of moves, then I couldn't practice it and all the move jewels would fall out of the settings, I would lose them and all I'd be left with was the small dangly bit of chain stuck to

the Yoi clasp. And I just couldn't wear that so it would be discarded too. 

So. I concentrate on learning the transitions first. I stumble over the settings, I don't worry to much about the height of the kick or the position of my elbow, then I solder those transition links in, then paint them with super glue and flex seal. That one turn of the foot that sets up the next sequence. The shift of the weight. The turn of the head. All the way till I reach Yame and complete the loop.

Then I practice the kata focusing ONLY on the transitions. It is the ugliest thing you have ever seen. It has driven every Karate instructor I've learned under to distraction. I'd brush off or half ass the beautiful jewels of the kata to carefully put myself into position for a single functional move over and over. It probably looked like I was deliberately defacing the kata. Like trying to listen to someone who is putting emphasis on random and nonsensical syllables as they sing a favorite song, shockingly offkey.

Then I go back and carefully set each stone, straighten each bent setting and polish the piece by running it over and over and over. Because I know it. Because it runs as an unbroken, logical chain. I know exactly where I am in the piece. I know where I'm going. I know where I have been. I can infer the next move because I know where my feet need to be. It isn't something that I need to clutch and hang onto, it is something beautiful that I wear without effort. A beautiful necklace of kata.

It has been over a year since I really worked on seiuchin. But it was still there. Link by link.

Mask for the Generously Bearded Gentleman (or Lady)

My cousin asked for a face mask that would accommodate his rather impressive beard. I had never considered the problem that would arise from having a mass of hair on ones chin. What would be its volume? How easy would it be to stuff places? Does it require its own conditioner? Are drinking fountains problematic?

I didn't see any masks for the bearded individual that I liked. Most were just 'bigger' or open at the bottom (which doesn't seem effective for the mask actually functioning).

I spent some time trying to imagine hair stuck to my face and this is the design I came up with:

Socially Distant BJJ